Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Handle123

    Handle123

    Old Age Home

    While sitting naked during a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether an older person should be put in an old age home?”

    “Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”

    “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

    “No,” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window? Now come out of the waiting room into my office and quit scaring the other patients!!
     
    #13331     Nov 13, 2015
    CaptainObvious likes this.
  2. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

    So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

    The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

    The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"

    His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
     
    #13332     Nov 13, 2015
  3. Humpy

    Humpy

    Recently Mr. Hoff decided he could do without the Hassel. When asked if he had finished he said he might be Off.
     
    #13333     Nov 14, 2015
  4. Handle123

    Handle123

    upload_2015-11-15_2-1-50.png
     
    #13334     Nov 15, 2015
  5. Handle123

    Handle123

    Q. Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagara overdose? A. They could not close his casket.
     
    #13335     Nov 15, 2015
  6. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #13336     Nov 16, 2015
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    #13337     Nov 16, 2015
    gwb-trading likes this.
  8. What most women hear when you talk about car parts, or Obama explaining his policy for dealing with radical Islam.
     
    #13338     Nov 16, 2015
    Yannis likes this.
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    [​IMG]

    Odd News
    Showing little strain: Pastafarian wears colander on head in licence photo
    There are some usually strict rules for official photographs on such things as passports and driving licences. No smiling, no laughing, no hats, no colanders… But a driver licensing agency in the U.S. has had to bend its rules for one Pastafarian. Lindsay Miller was allowed to pose for her licence photo wearing a colander on her head as she is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It teaches that an airborne “spaghetti monster” could have created the universe…

    :);):)
     
    #13339     Nov 17, 2015
  10. Yannis

    Yannis

    This is what some of my cohorts at Bell Labs sounded like back in the early 80s... :)
     
    #13340     Nov 17, 2015