Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

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    #13291     Oct 28, 2015
  2. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #13292     Oct 28, 2015
    Handle123 likes this.
  3. Handle123

    Handle123

    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
     
    #13293     Oct 29, 2015
  4. Handle123

    Handle123

    c1. Teaching Math In 1950s - A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

    2. Teaching Math In 1970s - A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

    3. Teaching Math In 1980s - A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
    His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No

    4. Teaching Math In 1990s - A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    5. Teaching Math In 2000s - A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g, anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc.)

    Should you require debriefing at conclusion of exam there are counsellors available to assist you to adjust back into the real world.

    6. Teaching Math In 2050 - هاتشيرو تبيع كارلواد من نهاب100 دولار. تكلفة الإنتاج هو80 دولاراً. كيف

    الكثيرمن المال ولم
     
    #13294     Oct 29, 2015
    traderob and gwb-trading like this.
  5. Humpy

    Humpy

    An Argentinian tourist was out on the Prairie watching two locals while exploring the local area -famous for its caves. Suddenly, one of the locals ran up to the mouth of a small cave and shouted into it "Wooooo! Wooooo!, Wooooo! Wooooo!" -- whereupon he heard an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo!, Wooooo! Wooooo!". He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

    Puzzled by this, the tourist asks the other local what it was all about and was told that it was an old ritual that during the Spring time, randy young men when they see a cave follow the above procedure. If they get the "Wooooo! Wooooo!, Wooooo! Wooooo!" answer back, then it means there's a beautiful woman in there awaiting their pleasure."

    Just then the second local came upon another cave and repeated the process, getting the answer, tearing off his clothes and running into the cave.

    The Argentinian thought he was on to a good thing when he spied a third large cave. He looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, thinking, “By Jove! Look at the size of this cave - it's bigger than those locals found, there must be some really big, fine woman in there!" So he stood in front of the opening and shouted with all his might, "Wooooo! Wooooo!, Wooooo! Wooooo!". Like the others, he then heard an answering call of "Wooooo! Wooooo!, Wooooo! Wooooo”. With a gleam in his eye and a grin of expectation on his face, he raced into the cave - tearing off his clothes as he did so.


    The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read .........

    scroll down>>>>>>








    "NAKED ARGENTINIAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN"
     
    #13295     Oct 29, 2015
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    Interesting New Technology

    TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

    Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:

    "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!"

    :);):(
     
    #13296     Oct 30, 2015
    gwb-trading likes this.
  7. Humpy

    Humpy

    Hillary just dropped in to wish you losers a ................ Hillary.PNG
     
    #13297     Oct 30, 2015
  8. Handle123

    Handle123

    What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in Mississippi?
    Not much. Either one, somebody's losing a trailer.
     
    #13298     Oct 30, 2015
    traderob likes this.
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Happy Halloween!

    Halloween2.jpg

    :):):)
     
    #13299     Oct 30, 2015
  10. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year just proves that men are better than woman at everything, including being a woman.
     
    #13300     Oct 30, 2015