Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Handle123

    Handle123

    A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
    So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
    The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to
    The ‘violator’ for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
    The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an a*****le!”
    Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
    Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; “Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”
    Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”
    Lawyer, “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”
    “Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”
    “What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”
    “Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”
    “Aggressive and hostile?”
    “Yes, Sir.
    “Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for a****le?”
    “Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
     
    #13271     Oct 24, 2015
    FCXoptions likes this.
  2. Humpy

    Humpy

    Elizah was getting tired of the limp problems Rastus was having in the bedroom dept....

    She said " Rastus, your gonna have to go see the doctor and get your problem sorted out, you as no good to me like that "

    Reluctantly, Rastus duly trots off to see the quack.....

    He arrives back home dressed to the nines in Top hat and tails.....

    Elizah say's " lord above, why as you all dressed up like that , what did the doctor have to say "

    Rastus replies " The doctor said as was impotent, so good golly as gonna dress impotent "
     
    #13272     Oct 25, 2015
  3. I've tried for so many times almost every day to spot the differences among these pictures you posted, but in vain ...

    Could you show us the answer please?
     
    #13273     Oct 25, 2015
  4. "Well, you can have another fight tonight if you want to!" the bartender replies.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2015
    #13274     Oct 25, 2015
  5. Girlfriend
    "What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
    "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
    "I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
    "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
     
    #13275     Oct 25, 2015
  6. Humpy

    Humpy

    Glad someone is asking. 4 identical photos is a long way short of funny imho
    Glad someone is asking. 4 identical photos is a long way short of funny imho
    Glad someone is asking. 4 identical photos is a long way short of funny imho
    Glad someone is asking. 4 identical photos is a long way short of funny imho

    Perhaps he has all wrap around 360 vision ?
    o_O
     
    #13276     Oct 25, 2015
  7. JamesL

    JamesL

    Only supposed to be one pic. Messed up posting, and window to correct expired before I realized it.
     
    #13277     Oct 25, 2015
  8. I was merely making a joke! :)
     
    #13278     Oct 25, 2015
  9. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading


    I was assuming this was four different poses under the burqas. The first was sorority smiles, the second duck face, etc.

    :)
     
    #13279     Oct 26, 2015
  10. Obviously the differences you mentioned can only be seen by us when looking at the face of the camera man! :)
     
    #13280     Oct 26, 2015