Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

  2. TGregg

    TGregg

    Two different magazines, Country Living (99.99% white readership) and EBONY/Jet (99.99% black readership) did surveys on 'WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST'?

    The results were interesting, to say the least...

    Country Living magazine's top three answers were:

    1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S.
    2. Child/spouse dying/terminal illness.
    3. Terminal illness/self.

    EBONY/Jet magazine's top three answers were:
    1. Ghosts.
    2. Dogs.
    3. Registered mail.
     
    #12912     Jan 19, 2015
  3. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #12913     Jan 19, 2015
  4. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    [​IMG]
     
    #12914     Jan 19, 2015
    traderob likes this.
  5. Big AAPL

    Big AAPL

    Critical Thinking At Its Best!


    Woman:
    Do you drink beer?

    Man: Yes


    Woman:
    How many beers a day?


    Man:
    Usually about 3


    Woman:
    How much do you pay per beer?


    Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

    Woman:
    And how long have you been drinking?


    Man:
    About 20 years, I suppose


    Woman:
    So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.

    In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?


    Man:
    Correct


    Woman:
    If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
    20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?


    Man:
    Correct


    Woman:
    Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up

    interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years,

    you could have now bought a new Ferrari?



    Man:
    Do you drink beer?


    Woman:
    No


    Man:


    Where's your Ferrari?
     
    #12915     Jan 20, 2015
  6. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    #12916     Jan 21, 2015
  7. Humpy

    Humpy

    Davos man Day trader.gif
     
    #12917     Jan 22, 2015
  8. Humpy

    Humpy

    Davos woman user264804_pic1706_1287935806.jpg
     
    #12918     Jan 22, 2015
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Interesting Crow Facts

    Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

    A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

    MTA then hired a Harvard-educated Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Caah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

    :):):)
     
    #12919     Jan 23, 2015
  10. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    Penn State may have gotten its football wins back this past week, but they still have all of this...

    [​IMG]
     
    #12920     Jan 23, 2015