Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. HOW TO PREDICT A SECURITY CHECK PAT DOWN



    I bet you spotted it right off!

    Yep .... the suitcase doesn't have an identification tag on it.
     
    #12681     Jul 30, 2014
  2. wow- there it is.
    http://youtu.be/YfRtbIQ1kTw

    The outrageous humor is he purports to be an American who swore to uphold the constitution .
     
    #12682     Jul 31, 2014
  3. #12683     Jul 31, 2014
  4. 1. In my many years I have come to a
    conclusion that one useless man
    is a shame, two is a law firm,
    and three or more is a congress.
    -- John Adams

    2. If you don't read the newspaper
    you are uninformed, if you do
    read the newspaper you are
    misinformed. -- Mark Twain

    3. Suppose you were an idiot. And
    suppose you were a member of
    Congress. But then I repeat
    myself. -- Mark Twain

    4. I contend that for a nation to try to
    tax itself into prosperity is like a
    man standing in a bucket and
    trying to lift himself up by the
    handle. --Winston Churchill

    5. A government which robs Peter to
    pay Paul can always depend on
    the support of Paul. -- George
    Bernard Shaw


    6. Giving money and power to
    government is like giving whiskey
    and car keys to teenage boys.
    -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian


    7. Government's view of the
    economy could be summed up
    in a few short phrases: If it
    moves, tax it. If it keeps
    moving, regulate it. And if it
    stops moving, subsidize it.
    --Ronald Reagan (1986)

    8. I don't make jokes. I just watch
    the government and report the
    facts. -- Will Rogers

    9. If you think health care is
    expensive now, wait until you
    see what it costs when it's free!
    -- P. J. O'Rourke


    10. Just because you do not take an
    interest in politics doesn't mean
    politics won't take an interest
    in you! -- Pericles (430 B.C.)

    11. No man's life, liberty, or
    property is safe while the
    legislature is in session.
    -- Mark Twain (1866)

    12. Talk is cheap, except when
    Congress does it. -- Anonymous


    13. The only difference between a
    tax man and a taxidermist is that
    the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    -- Mark Twain


    14. What this country needs are
    more unemployed politicians
    --Edward Langley,
    Artist (1928-1995)

    15. A government big enough to give
    you everything you want, is
    strong enough to take everything
    you have. -- Thomas Jefferson

    16. We hang the petty thieves and
    appoint the great ones to public
    office. -- Aesop
     
    #12684     Jul 31, 2014
  5. TGregg

    TGregg

    This would make for an awesome antidrug campaign.

    "Drugs brought this poor soul to his knees:"

    <IMG SRC=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?attachmentid=147764&d=1406905513>
     
    #12685     Aug 1, 2014
  6. JWS11

    JWS11

    Men vs Women

    <iframe width="1536" height="770" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/_CwHrJt8Oz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :D
     
    #12686     Aug 3, 2014
  7. TGregg

    TGregg

    <IMG SRC=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?attachmentid=147864&d=1407280719>
     
    #12687     Aug 5, 2014
  8. TGregg

    TGregg


    Uhm. 50 year difference in those two bodies. 50 years of sag and cellulite. Probably needed a whole tube of Atroglide. How she hide her diaper? Guess he was too drunk to notice the Ben Gay smell.
     
    #12688     Aug 5, 2014
  9. TGREG



    You left out murder, rape and pedophelia.
     
    #12689     Aug 6, 2014
  10. JWS11

    JWS11

    Actually, I do

    <iframe width="640" height="390" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/OOgd9hitEAE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :D
     
    #12690     Aug 8, 2014