I was in the restroom at Cracker Barrel yesterday and someone had put this sticker on the hand dryer unit.
Little Jim and Lynn are only 10 years old, But they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, So Jim goes to Lynn âs father to ask him for her hand. Jim bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Lynn are in love And I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Jim, you are only 10.. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Jim replies,"In Lynnâs room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Lynn." Again, Jim instantly replies, "Our allowance, Lynn makes five bucks a week & I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, that should do us just fine." Mr. Smith is impressed Jim has put so much thought into this. "Well Jim, It seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?" Jim just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far." Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.
Cute chick with one minor flaw ... one nipple is lower than the other nipple . Looks like the surgeon messed up a little with her boob job.
My current theory is that she actually is damn near perfect. The perceived imbalance is from those beauties bouncing around as she heads for the winner's podium. But I would need much closer (personal) inspection to know for sure.
Jaybird was at home, nude, happily jumping on our bed and squealing with delight. I watched her for a while and asked..... "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" She continued to bounce on the bed and said.... "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor said that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old." I replied..... "What did he say about your 50-year old ass?" "Your name never came up," she replied.
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.â âNow ... We have an $800,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed and a large-screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of the bargain." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
You may recall the NYC Craigslist Gold Digger from 2007: Email contributed by Gregory D., Oct. 11, 2007: THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 - 150. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically: -Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? -Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there? -Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out? -How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth. -------------------- THE ANSWER Dear Pers-: I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. ____________ *Identifying characteristics of the banker removed as he has swore this was not him replying*