As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what Martha?" "What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
Ha! HA! Ha! Wow, If this had been Bush⦠No matter how powerful of a man you are, if your wife tells you to swap seats, you just do it!
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. 'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said. He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.' It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom...
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a life sentence! Q: If marriage is grand what is divorce? A: Ten grand!
These days every car company claims that their latest model is environmentally friendly no matter how much it pollutes the planet and makes Indians standing by the side of a road cry bitter tears. But what does environmentally friendly really mean? At Envia Motors, we set out to make a car without concessions to speed, performance or handling because we put the environment first. Read the rest at http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2014/04/introducing-envia-discord-2015.html
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This tea party candidate told Obama that he knew a homosexual that sounded just like an owl. Obama said: who, who?