My daughter used my computer and didn't sign out. Guess who edited her plenty of fish profile. ahahahahahahah..
Merry Christmas ET! Jeff Dunham and his friend Achmed the Dead Terrorist sings "Jingle Bombs": <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xPG6mgcwp40&rel=0&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xPG6mgcwp40&rel=0&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house Everybody was stoned Even the mouse Girl from the whore house And me from the jail And i just setteled down To get a piece of her tail When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter I tripped on my dick And busted my bladder!! I went downstairs And what did i see?! A fat little red fagget Hanging from a tree He stuffed the stockings With reefer and beer And a big fat hairy dick For the family queer
Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude, and Ruth were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, opened his trench coat, and exposed himself. Gertrude and Maude both had a stroke. But Ruth, being older and feebler, bless her heart, couldn't reach that far.
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime. ____________________________ p.s. sorry I can't find the apostrophe. Question marks look kinda of festive, tis the season.
Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with. - Santa
Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some pepperoni. -Santa
Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer. YeR FReND, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell! -Santa
Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? - Santa