A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2013 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say But you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well... You started it." .....
The Optimist One thing led to another and the man fell off the top of the 70th floor of this New York building. As he is speeding all the way down to the street below, at about the level of the 20th floor, he mumbles: "OOOOOK, no problem, so far so good!"
Wrt Elk Sex Two Vermonters are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?" "Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"
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...And then there was the gay guy down the street who would go to the Elks Lodge every payday just to blow a few bucks.