Now, That's Funny <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/QMKIE8vjBQI?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Where I live I have heard several Hispanic's say that they can not be racially prejudiced.... because that is something only white people do. Which when you think about it, is kind of funny (as it is a statement of prejudice!).
An Easy Guide To Keeping Newspaper Reading In Perspective: 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores. 10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store. 12. The Key West Citizen is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
Lots Of People <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ySSrG7HgvIQ?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats". But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job". Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated. FIVE Other Simple Truths 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass hole's name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk. Bonus Truth: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked; 'How did the human race start?' Sarah Palin answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; They had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama and asked the same question. Michelle Obama answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl went to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that Sarah Palin told me the Human race was created by God, And Michelle Obama said they evolved from monkeys.' The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple, Sarah Palin told you about her ancestors and Michelle Obama told you about hers.'