Jokes 2

When he was a kid, obama wanted to be president in the worst way.
And it all worked out.

 

There was this big Indian Chief. Feared by all far and near. One day he was so constipated he just couldn't go.
He sent for the Witch Doctor who prescribed the tea made from local herbs or what some call 'erbs.
A week later after jugs of this broth he sent for the Doc again " Big Chief no go " ! The Doc is worried, it might cost him his job or more. He went far into the woods and collected some strange plants known only to himself. He brewed up some more tea for the Chief. Buckets of it.
A week later he was summoned back. Big Chief still no go.
Damn this was serious he crawled out of the Chief's teepee, swallowed his pride and got a bottle of pills to take with plenty of water from the Town Doctor.
Next day there was a commotion in the settlement. Big Chief was dead - he had drowned in his tea pee.

 

I went into a bank today and i found that the pens they have in the lobby taste really funny.
I can only imagine where they've been.

 

A non-believer asked me a question today and i was stumped.

He said ' if the earth is only 6000 years old, then how do you explain Cher?'

 

How to tell if your dog is involved in a sex scandal

 

Who Wants A Beer?

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I like baseball. It's the time of year where "DP" means something other than double penetration.

 

Just an observation but don't they all have very similar looking mouths or as we say over here - kissers ?

 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER