The New iStupid <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/oprUI6nupfc?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I've never been to San Francisco, but I've always thought there would be very little religion there. Turns out they have a lot of anal sects out there.
My wife and I were out for dinner celebrating our anniversary. "Who do you think I need to speak to about getting rid of this genital wart?" I said to her over a bowl of soup. "I didn't know you had one of those" she replied. "When did you discover that?" "My third spoonful. I thought it was a crouton"
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few Seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me, 'You need a piece of tail.' I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite
25 GREAT TRUTHS 1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams 2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain 3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain 4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. -- Winston Churchill 5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw 6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy 7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. -- James Bovard , Civil Libertarian (1994) 8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. -- Douglas Case , Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University. 9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke , Civil Libertarian 10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. -- Frederic Bastiat , French economist(1801-1850) 11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -- Ronald Reagan (1986) 12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers 13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke 14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. -- Voltaire (1764) 15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! -- Pericles (430 B.C.) 16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -- Mark Twain (1866) 17. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous 18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan 19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill 20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain 21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. -- Herbert Spencer , English Philosopher (1820-1903) 22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain 23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians -- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995) 24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -- Thomas Jefferson 25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -- Aesop FIVE BEST SENTENCES 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!
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Good Ol' Ron <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/kL1-JF1sqkY?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>