Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says: "I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, get me the finest bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, and an Infinite Visa Card, while banging her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . . . . "And how about you, Sarah?" "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."
My wife phoned me in a panic saying she was about to get raped. I said, "Tell him you have diarrhoea, always works for me."
Q. Why are gays always the first ones checking out of the hotel each morning? A. 'Cause they get their shit packed the night before.
I went shopping with my wife earlier this evening. All the stores already have their Halloween decorations for sale. Picking up her favorite, "Why don't we get one of these for the front porch?", she asked. "Just what we need in the house... another witch", I replied. I'm posting this from the doghouse in the backyard.
Gee- We've become so politically correct-minded. Thoughtful, yet bizarre 'bout covers it? A BOOK OF NUDE PHOTOGRAPHS FOR THE BLIND / VISION IMPAIRED. http://tactilemindbook.com/ Now if it weren't missing the scratch and sniff panels, using Pay Pal would keep the purchase out of my c.c. statement!
Back when I was a kid, there was no internet, So people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me a cunt.
This Guy Is Very Good <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Ai4tPe80S6Q?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
It's the guy with no legs that's good. He's got stumps just below the pelvis. Helluva way to make a living. I guess, if he grew two legs, he'd be disabled.