A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina." The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas"
It pains me to say that my mother passed away in the early hours of this morning after a lenghty battle with my father's pillow. :eek:
I saw a homeless guy sitting in the street with a hammer and a saw. He had a sign saying, 'Woodwork For Food'.
If you think stupid children's names like 'Moon Unit' and 'Blanket' are a modern phenomenon for celebrities... think again: I just read about some guy called Sigmund Freud: He was the father of 'Modern Psychoanalysis'!
Did you hear about the trader who was so upset with his poor timing that he threw himself behind a train?
Q. Why did God invent yeast infections? A. So women also can know how it feels to live with an annoying cunt!
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Warum das lange gesicht?" The horse said, ''Fuckoff you German cunt, I'm on vacation!"