A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." ''What happened to her?" "She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?" The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.. The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?" The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
I was shocked when I discovered my wife had set up a website to help the victims of domestic violence. She got 200 hits in the first hour.
I hate it when people point at their wrist when they want to know the time. I don't point at my pecker when i want to know where the bathroom is.
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Scientists warn that if we don't stop global warming soon, Ice Road Truckers will not be on tv in another ten years.
I saw these two black guys, one a muslim and one a rapper standing out on a frozen lake last winter and they weren't speaking to each other. So i thought i would just go out there and break the ice.
I sat next to a muslim couple on a plane the other night. They said that both of them had violent tempers. But neither one of them exploded for the entire flight.