My neighbour is a Agoraphobic Jehovah's Witness. He spends all day knocking on the inside of his own door hoping someone will answer.
... I think I've been masturbating too much... You start to think that when your cock starts to look more like a handlebar of a bike than a cock... I even put a bell on it. Ya know, to let people know that I'm coming.
As I was about to leave for work this morning my wife said "I want a divorce. You're nothing but a cunt, and an embarrassment to be around". "Fuck you" I said, as I tied my hair back into a pony tail, got into my BMW and drove off.
Devil worshippers etc. held their annual convention recently and called it The Black Arts Convention. Lots of gays and coloured people there.