One day this vet who'd lost half his leg in "The War" was at a dance, met some babe. One thing led to another and they were engaged, her still a virgin and unaware of his prosthetic. He'd think about that and say to her "Honey, I have a big surprise for you on our wedding night." She'd blush and turn away. Well, the wedding night came and they are lying together in bed. She says "So, about this big surprise I've been waiting for. . ." Unable to speak, the groom just takes her hand and places it on his stump. "Oh! That certainly *is* a big surprise," she exclaims. "Well, pass over the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do."
My new girlfriend just asked me if I have ever fucked a fat girl. After thinking for a moment I said, "Nope, I'm pretty sure you're the first."
My wife walked in on me masturbating yesterday. I got her back today by walking in on her while I was masturbating.
We can teach kids there's no "I" in team, but it's way more important to teach them there's no "P" in sex.