Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. On the flip side of Alzheimers are those who have sharp memeories thanks to the gov't implanting a micro chip in the left temporal lobe.
     
    #1181     Dec 18, 2007
  2. I've got a list of my favorite movies where I know the endings. Remember the first time you saw, oh, shit I forgot thename, uh, just a second, uh, "The Sting". Yeah that's on the list. I told my wife to rent just one or two, so I can watch them over and over.
     
    #1182     Dec 19, 2007
  3. I put this on the old thread, but it is again appropriate......

    Two couples are in the doctors' waiting room. The women are chatting, so the guys strike up a conversation. "What choo in for?"

    "Oh, I'm gettting treated for my Alzheimer's."
    "Really. That's what I'm here about this is my first visit. What am I in for?"

    "Well, it's not fun, but for the last several months, they've been giving me this medicine, and I a thousand tiimes better than what I was.

    "Wow. That is encouraging. I'll ask for it. What's the name of the drug?"

    The other fellow puts finger and thumb to chin, scratches his head, "what's that flower, the one if you grab it those sharp things prick your finger........"

    "Do you mean a "rose"."

    "Yeah, that's it. Hey! Rose! What's the name of that medicine I take for my Alzheimer's?"
     
    #1183     Dec 19, 2007
  4. One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung
    Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean.

    It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how
    about playing Weeweechu."

    "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

    "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and
    it's the perfect time," Huan Cho begged.

    "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."

    "Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

    Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play
    Weeweechu."....


    Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang....


    "Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
    Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
    Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
    and a happy New Year."


    Uh, expecting something else, there, gents? Ahem!
     
    #1184     Dec 19, 2007
  5. Yeah, My favortie movie is Pee Wee Hermans Big Adventure, gees it was so sad when he found out there wasn't a basement in the Alamo. I used that line when I was a kid and took a tour of the Bronx Zoo, I kept asking my teacher when can we see the basement.
     
    #1185     Dec 19, 2007
  6. Ya see this problem started when I was a young kid and walked into the middle of a gangster movie and saw a man get shot in the movie. I turned to the person next to me and asked, "Why did the guy get shot?"

    The guy says, "He got shot because he knew too much!"

    Right then and there, I laid off the books and studying, this wasn't going to happen to me. I wasn't about to get snuffed cause I "knew too much".
     
    #1186     Dec 19, 2007
  7. where, or where, do you manage to find this stuff????

    Could you put it back please, before it goes missing?:D

    This just might be the best thread on the internet. I check back hoping for a gem several times a day. Thank you.
     
    #1187     Dec 19, 2007
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    Excellent video clip, Don, thanks for posting it.
     
    #1188     Dec 19, 2007
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    A Funny Oldie, Slightly Changed

    Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).
    The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
    However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact.
    According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, viceneutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion
    leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".

    :) :) :)
     
    #1189     Dec 19, 2007
  10. I got one someplace of a dog being run over by a car. Looking for it now.

    Where's my prozac???
     
    #1190     Dec 19, 2007