Defensive schemes for the Washington Wizards are undergoing changes as the team has discovered that their zone d never worked right because one guy kept playing man to man.
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet & all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent. "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy. "Sure, Buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent. "But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt & George Bush on the other." "This I gotta see," replied the agent. With that, the guy dropped his pants & showed the agent his behind. "By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago." "Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago?" The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle.ââ¬Â
The Adventures of an Old Cowboy An old cowboy walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut and he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied,â No problem - I would have just asked you to bring it back in a couple of days... like everyone else does..."
Speaking of tatoo's. I was outside a 7-11 chatting with the girl who works there (smoke break). It was a very warm evening and plenty of bikers on the road. A guy pulls up on a trike with a girl, scruffy looking dude. Our conversation turned to bikers. she said when she was hired the manager told her "You'll be amazed at the bikers who come in here wearing wife beaters and a tatoo of "Mom". lmao.. ------------------- Hmnnn.. I'm going to google the populatirty of a Janet Napolitano tatoo. She's like "our" Mom..ya think?
The Gorgeous Redhead A man was dining in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.' They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theater followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?' 'No,' she replies. . ..... (Wait for it ..... ...... It's coming ...... ...... The suspense is killing you, isn't it?) She said .... ......: 'You just happened to catch my eye.' http://www.instantrimshot.com (Oh, shut up...!)
EARLIER VERSION MERCHANT MARINE LANDS AFTER SAILING AROUND THE WORLD AND GOES STRAIGHT TO THE WHORE HOUSE. HE TELLS THE MADAME THAT HE WANTS A GIRLS AND SHE REPLIES THAT SHE ONLY HAS ONE LEFT AND THAT ONE HAS A GLASS EYE. HE SAYS OK AND GOES UPSTAIRS TO MEET THE GIRL AND THEY BEGIN TO HAVE SEX BUT THE GUY FINDS THE GLASS EYE VERY DISTRACTING AND TELLS THE WHORE SO. SO SHE TELLS HIM THAT SHE WILL TAKE THE EYE OUT AND LET HIM STICK HIS DICK IN THE SOCKET. WELL THE GUY IS KIND OF RELUCTANT BUT HE AGREES TO DO IT AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE THE BEST SEX HE EVERY HAD. THE GUY IS OVERJOYED AND TELLS THE WHORE WHAT A GREAT SCREW IT WAS AND THAT WHEN HE GETS INTO PORT AGAIN HE'LL WANT TO SEE HER AND DO IT AGAIN. AND THE WHORE REPLIES.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------" GREAT! I'LL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR YOU".