The Shortest Books THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan Illustrated by Michael Moore Foreword by George Soros MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD By Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY By Dennis Rodman THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE By Al Gore and John Kerry GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC By Amelia Earhart HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST By Dr. Jack Kevorkian TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE By Ellen de Generes and Rosie O'Donnell GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE By Mike Tyson THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS By O. J. Simpson HOW TO DRINK AND DRIVE SAFELY By Ted Kennedy MY BOOK OF MORALS By Bill Clinton With introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy By Nancy Pelosi and, last but not least: THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE By Barack Obama
"AND IT"S GONE" Bernie Madoff "MAKING FRIENDS AT THE COMPANY GYM" Dick Fuld " BRIDGE FOR DUMMIES" Jimmy Cayne
The wife said, "What's a Clunt?" I said, "Just shut up and run. There's no way I'm paying for that Chinese meal!"
Try pulling the blankets.. This reminds me. One night my wife said "turnover" and I said "What is an apple"
In other sports news, the NFL is deciding whether to rename one of their teams the Green Bay Fudge Packers.