Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. On this day in history. At my house. Many moons ago.

    "Mom, I'd like to introduce you to my new girlfriend, Susie."

    "Nutmeg, that's a piece of paper on which you have drawn a pair of boobs and a fuzzy triangle."

    "Come on, Susie. We're leaving."

    Stay tuned....
     
    #11661     Mar 26, 2013
  2. As I sat and watched the Antiques Roadshow I turned to my wife and asked her who her favorite painter was.

    "That guy Dave who painted the staircase had the biggest cock so probably him."
     
    #11662     Mar 26, 2013
  3. Dear Dr. Stunata,

    I need some advice on men.

    ~ lonely and looking

    Dear ll,

    If your boyfriend remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small tits.
     
    #11663     Mar 26, 2013
  4. TGregg

    TGregg

    So this French Major in the UN Peacekeepers get assigned to a post out in the desert in Syria. Upon his arrival, his second in command is showing him around and the major is somewhat taken aback at how desolate the place is.

    "Where are the restaurants, the cafes, the clubs? Where are the stores? Where's the activities?" He asks his lieutenant.

    "Well sir, we are a remote outpost. We have a fine DVD collection, a workout gym and. . . "

    "But what about the WOMEN?"

    "Unfortunately, there are no civilians around here. However, should the . . . err. . . . 'need' get too great, well there's always. . ." and the lieutenant pointed to a camel.

    "You have GOT to be kidding! A CAMEL?"

    "I'm afraid that's the best we have in the way of that, sir. No worries, that's what most of us do."

    So the major buries himself in his work. Every once in a while he looks up at the camel and shakes his head. Finally one day (after several bottles of wine) he can't take it any more. He grabs a stool and heads over to the camel. He drops his drawers and he's going at it on the poor beast. The camel is not happy and starts making a racket. "Hold still, you foul beast!" yells the major.

    His second in command is awakened by the commotion and runs out of his quarters to see what is up. "What are you doing? He asks the major.

    "What does it look like?" Replies the Major. "I'm scratching my itch, just like you said most everyone does. Isn't that what the camel is for?"

    "Well, yes sir. But usually we *ride* the camel to town to find some women!"
     
    #11664     Mar 27, 2013
  5. Why don't they have driving lessons and sex education on the same day in Syria?

    They don't want to wear out the camel!
     
    #11665     Mar 27, 2013
  6. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    [​IMG]
     
    #11666     Mar 27, 2013
  7. I've been very depressed lately with all the continuous cold weather, so I tried and tried to think of something positive about. Well after giving it a lot of thought and coming up with nothing, it finally came to me.

    When I got dressed and went outside I immediately knew my fly was unzipped.
     
    #11667     Mar 27, 2013
  8. fhl

    fhl

    Dear Oprah,

    We're pulling for you on your new diet.

    Sincerely,
    Chairs
     
    #11668     Mar 27, 2013
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Classic A&C

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sShMA85pv8M?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :) :) :)
     
    #11669     Mar 27, 2013
  10. Yannis

    Yannis

    Classic AB

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7fqCS7Y_kME?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :) :) :)
     
    #11670     Mar 27, 2013