Jokes 2

I don't know why our society doesn't know what to do with pedophiles.

It's simple. Get them a pedicure. Problem solved.

 

http://hcd-1.imgbox.com/acbSswkb.jpg?st=5NVWHeoMEEIZw27xQ0S68w&e=1360939579

 

Does anyone here know how to take care of a fern?

It's not for me. I'm just asking for a frond.

 

The convenience store said i couldn't come in unless i had pants on.

Not very convenient.

 

Apple trying to get it's mojo back.
They're developing a new camera for their phones with a shutter speed so fast it can photograph a hummingbird's wings or a woman with her mouth shut.
Should be good for a pop in the stock.

 

If Jim Morrison were alive today, he'd be an old man standing at the urinal singing "break on through to the other side!" lamenting his prostate problems.

 

If Jim Morrison were alive today he would be farting while he was singing
"Come On Baby Light My Fire".

 

Know what Jim would be doing if he were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of his coffin.

 

*For Sale*

Second-hand coffin.

A few scratches.

Only on the inside.

 

I went to the local college to audit an english class, but then i just decided, 'nope, i'm too old for this lit'.