Jokes 2

I think that I will name my new puppy Penis. All he wants to do is to go in and out, in and out.

 

I just cannot believe how ungrateful some women can be.

I made my new girlfriend breakfast in bed, and instead of thanking me, she said 'how did you get in my house?'

 

So you probably heard about the olympic blade guy shooting his girlfriend. Seems he's been doing some rather nutty things leading up to this.
He used to not have a blade, though. He had a wooden leg when he dated his previous girlfriend. But then she broke it off.

 

I guess you all knew that yesterday was chris dorner's last ash wednesday.

 

Instead of calling it Ash wednesday how about crematorium day ?

 

Did you ever notice how ugly those North Korean leaders are?

But they're all married. I guess that proves there's someone for every un.

 

Didya hear about the time that The Onion ran a "story" about how the NK leader was voted as the Sexiest Man Alive and some Chinese paper ran with the story not realizing it was fake?

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/377324/North-Korea-s-boy-leader-Kim-Jong-un-turns-nasty

 

I went into a five star hotel and used the bathroom today.

I think it's a two star hotel now.

 

Just what are roman numerals good IV anyway?

 

On my girlfriends 40th birthday I got her a cake with XL written on it.

She said "Aww, that's 40 in Roman numerals."

I said "No, that's to remind you what size clothes you wear. Now eat your cake you fat bitch."