Jokes 2

Don't you hate it when you're typing something and you're thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were tits.

 

I get sick and tired of family asking me what the fat bastard with beard got me for christmas.

The wife gets me the same things every year.

 

good one, only one problem though. The class of people I know, always ask me to explain it. Oi.

 

Scientists have shown that putting the phrase "scientists have shown" before any statement will make people fall for it.

 

It's so cold in DC today that Harry Reid is keeping his hands in his own pockets.

 

It makes me uncomfortable when my wife walks into Subway and asks for a 12 inch Italian.

 

My new years resolution was going to be to quit drinking, but you know what? I can't do it. Because <b>i'm no quitter</b>!

 

I gave up quitting years ago.

 

I've found that to tell a really good joke, it is an absolute must to pay great attention to detale!

 

I asked my wife if she believed in reincarnation.

"Well not really." She replied, "But it's alright on fruit salad."