Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. My wife said that the only joke I have is in my underwear.

    So here goes:

    "Fruit of the Loom, Medium 33-35 inch waist, 90% cotton, 10% elastene, Made in China, Part of a 2 part set"
     
    #11191     Dec 15, 2012
  2. I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today.

    I thought, "That must have been really painful."
     
    #11192     Dec 15, 2012
  3. To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

    On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
     
    #11193     Dec 15, 2012
    traderob likes this.
  4. "So my people will talk to your people and we'll go from there"

    "OK....that Sounds great"

    Two schizophrenics arranging a second date.
     
    #11194     Dec 16, 2012
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Good Days Ahead

    [​IMG]

    :) :) :)
     
    #11195     Dec 17, 2012
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    California vs. Alabama

    CALIFORNIA:

    The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
    2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $800 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $900 testing it for diseases.
    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $7,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
    6. The Governor spends $500,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
    7. The State Legislature spends $10 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $350,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
    9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $50 million suit against the State, to be adjudicated over the next 10 years.


    ALABAMA

    The Governor of Alabama is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog, tries to bite the Governor.
    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
    2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
    3. Case closed.

    And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Alabama is not.

    :) :) :)
     
    #11196     Dec 17, 2012
  7. All too true. You forgot to mention all those people taking the public money are croneys of the public "servants"
     
    #11197     Dec 17, 2012



  8. CALIFORNIA:

    Orange County in California lost two trillion in derivatives....

    ALABAMA

    Why would I invest in somethng I can't spell?
     
    #11198     Dec 17, 2012
  9. It's good to study economics, then when you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
     
    #11199     Dec 17, 2012
  10. It's all relative in Alabama.



    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ca9GuwuOVZc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>...........:cool:
     
    #11200     Dec 17, 2012