Nutmeg went to an Irish-themed pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so he asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?" One of them snapped back saying "Why are hot guys always jerks, the nice guys always taken, and the hot and nice guys always gay?" You're fat. Stop making fucking excuses....
Abraham Lincoln goes to the theatre, and takes his seat. "So what are we watching tonight?", he asks. "An opera", came the reply. "Oh great, just shoot me now."
The latest toy has hit the shops... a talking Muslim doll. Nobody knows what the heck it says, because no one has the balls to pull the cord!
My son is at that awkward age. He's started asking questions about sex, like... "Why are you fucking Aunty Susan?"
When I was a waiter.... When a white person would order coffee, I'd ask "Creme?" When black people ordered coffee I'd ask "Black?" I was so stoopid I didn;t even know I was doing that.