"I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said earlier. "And I love you tons." I replied. "What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed. Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
I've been banging three girls at work and I can't decide which one deserves the promotion I promised. It's hard going running a family business.
I went on a date with a blonde girl last night. "Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's under two." She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."