Jokes 2

How's Your Garage?

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Imagine that; thousands of empty chairs to support the BIG empty chair.

............. hah hah ha aha choo!

 

I set my dvr to record "The Biggest Loser" but it just kept recording the Cubs games.

 

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Removing Bad Luck

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Grammar is important. Capital letters are the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse".

 

The last time I had sex it brought tears to my eyes.

I think it was the mace.

 

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman movie. Our dates so far can be summarised as follows...

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN.

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wait till you read the next joke.......

aha.

 

I gave my wife a nudge in bed.

"Love, are you awake?" I whispered.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Do you remember the other day you said you'd give me a blow job credit if I mowed the lawn, and then I mowed the lawn?"

"Shit! Yeah I remember."

"Well I used it in work today, thanks."