Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. You can see the US olympic uniform at the 50 second mark.


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    #10791     Jul 16, 2012
  2. fhl

    fhl

    Why is it that pedophiles so often have a beard?

    What is it about beards that children find so sexy?
     
    #10792     Jul 16, 2012
  3. I turned to my mother-in-law and said, "That look really suits you, I wish you'd looked like that twenty years ago."

    My wife shouted across the room, "What the fuck you doing near my mother's coffin?"
     
    #10793     Jul 16, 2012
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

    Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside.

    Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and as he screams in pain everyone starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourtee! Fourteen!

    :) :) :)
     
    #10794     Jul 17, 2012
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Good Old Rodney

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    :) :) :)
     
    #10795     Jul 17, 2012
  6. fhl

    fhl

    Wow, I met Joe Biden!

    I said, Joe, have you heard that joke they don't tell to dumb people?

    Joe said no.
     
    #10796     Jul 18, 2012
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    Fancy iPad Marketing

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    :)
     
    #10797     Jul 18, 2012
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    Have You Smiled Today? Puns!!!

    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
    Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
    What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
    She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
    Every calendar's days are numbered.
    A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
    Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis...
    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    :) :) :)
     
    #10798     Jul 23, 2012
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    #10799     Jul 23, 2012
  10. Tyra Banks was aboard a commercial jetliner when the pilot announced engine trouble and that he would have to make an emergency landing on sea. He advised everyone to assume the crash position. Tyra, however, took off her pants and panties and leaned back and lift3ed her legs up spread eagle to the sky. The woman next to her said "Why are you doing that?" and Tyra replied, "Because the first thing the rescue team looks for at a crash site is the black box!"
     
    #10800     Jul 23, 2012