"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world." Then He made the world round... and laughed and laughed!"
Bubba failed the screening at the prospective Firefighters test today. The main question was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F***ing' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
A Great Oldie A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"
A doctor broke the bad news to a elderly man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. âIâm afraid her mindâs completely gone,â he said. âMakes sense,â mumbled the man. âSheâs been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 55 years!â
Todays jokes brought to you by the letter G {:>) I think my fat wife's trying to inject a little bit of spice back into our sex life. She's packed the kids off to her sister's, unplugged the tv and taken the phone off the hook. She's had a candle-lit bath and given herself a Brazilian. And now she's parading around in nothing but her bra and G-rope ----------------------- I've found the more massive my wife gets, the more sexually responsive she becomes. Now, she orgasms almost as soon as I touch her G patch