My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes Nutmeg." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."
Being a midget, I tend to date older women. The reason being I can play with their tits without having to jump!
My Egyptian friend was excitedly jumping up and down, so I asked him what was up. He said, " Today, is a historic day in the history of our country because for the first time ever the people of Egypt have a democratically elected civilian in power. " I said, " We've got one of them." He went, "Oh fuck!"
More Good Puns I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. Weâre going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. All the toilets in New Yorkâs police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Lots of moaning, groaning and grunting. Tits and balls bouncing everywhere. Womens tennis at Wimbledon.