4 Worms in church Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol...Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke...Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup...Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil...Alive . So the Minister asked the congregation, What did you learn from this demonstration? Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, 'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!' That pretty much ended the service!
I pointed to an old ugly hag in the pub earlier and said to the wife, "There's you in twenty years." She said, "That's a mirror!"
You look at our grandparents' generation, and they're a much tougher people than us. My grandfather went through the war, the Depression. He came back from the war. He built his house brick-by-brick with his own hands, went and worked at a mill for 40 years. I built a bong out of an apple once. I bragged for like six months.
My wife called me and said, "I'm just in grocery store getting some milk, do you need anything?" "It depends" I replied, "Did you drive or walk?" She said, "I walked." "I'll have six bags of potatoes and four watermelons please."
The highest crime rate in the country is in a ten story building in Chicago. Now that's just wrong on so many different levels.
Mrs Wong gives birth to a caucasian baby... Mr Wong is furious... She explains: Don't you know? Two Wongs make one White...!"