Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies." So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves." She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard." He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit .
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Yikes... too early in the morning for this, got half way through, will finish later........... pffftttt...squishhh...pt....
"I'm a bit nervous" I said, "I haven't been with a prostitute before." "Just relax baby and tell me what you like." she replied. "I like turtles..."
I saw a guy in the park the other day pinned under a tree. "Get help!" he shouted. "Fuck you" I replied chugging my bottle of Vodka, "I don't need help, I can quit anytime."
"This is a joke not a statement." Said the eurozone to Greece when it looked at what was left in its bank.