Accidentally ran over my neighbour kids cat yesterday & I was scared to tell him... So I left a note on the door saying "curiosity was here"
Uh oh!........ Red Alert.... Airplane joke..... My first day as a pilot didn't go well. I left the handbrake off, and the 747 rolled straight back up into the air.
Japanese couple having an argument: Husband "Sukitaki!" Wife replies "Kowanini!" Husband "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!" Wife, on her knees literally begging "Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!" Husband replies angrily "kina tim kouji!" So sad....... You guys sitting there reading this as if you understand Japanese.
After the police caught me smoking a giant spliff on Saturday night they arrested me and took me to the station, luckily I was allowed my one phone call... I phoned a taxi and sent it to my friends house. He didn't even want a taxi, lol.
Another Blonde Joke "Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot..."
This whole page is very funny http://thechive.com/2012/06/08/puns-so-stupid-they-made-me-smile-26-photos/
Obama To Congress: Do Something Yea yea yea, it's hard to get Congress to do something but anyone remember the guy who got Congress to do something? Hank Paulson and tarp, Hank knelt down at the Pelosi altar and got Congress to do something. Things can get done.