Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. My girlfriend wanted me to play doctor in the bedroom to spice things up.

    So I diagnosed her with down's syndrome and went out and fucked a prostitute.
     
    #10591     May 22, 2012
  2. The wife called me earlier crying her eyes out, I said, "What's up, babe? You sound really fat."
     
    #10592     May 22, 2012
  3. Re FB,

    "Heads will roll for this. Oh, did I say heads? I meant eyes. Eyes will roll."


    :D ..lmao
     
    #10593     May 23, 2012
  4. My fat cow wife is the majority shareholder in our business.

    Ironically, we make pies.
     
    #10594     May 23, 2012
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    There you go... like in Congress... the eyes have it! :)
     
    #10595     May 23, 2012
  6. 'I'm stayin' a chive, stayin' a chive, ah, ah, ah, ah stayin' a chive..

    Hmnnnnn..... I got the punch line...

    brb
     
    #10596     May 23, 2012
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    OK, don't worry, I'm here to help you in this creative struggle you find yourself in. I searched and found some material to use as you write your "chive" funny poem. Tell me what you think about this approach. Here goes:

    Chives - Allium schoenoprasum - are the smallest species of the edible onions.[1] A perennial plant, they are native to Europe, Asia and North America.[2] Allium schoenoprasum is the only species of Allium native to both the New and the Old World.

    The name of the species derives from the Greek skhoínos (sedge) and práson (leek).[3] Its English name, chive, derives from the French word cive, from cepa, the Latin word for onion.[4]

    Chives are a commonly used herb and can be found in grocery stores or grown in home gardens. In culinary use, the scapes are diced and used as an ingredient for fish, potatoes, soups, and other dishes. Chives have insect-repelling properties that can be used in gardens to control pests.[5]
    ...

    The chive is a bulb-forming herbaceous perennial plant, growing to 30–50 cm tall. The bulbs are slender conical, 2–3 cm long and 1 cm broad, and grow in dense clusters from the roots. The scapes (or stems) are hollow and tubular, up to 50 cm long, and 2–3 mm in diameter, with a soft texture, although, prior to the emergence of a flower, they may appear stiffer than usual. The flowers are pale purple, and star-shaped with six petals, 1–2 cm wide, and produced in a dense inflorescence of 10-30 together; before opening, the inflorescence is surrounded by a papery bract. The seeds are produced in a small three-valved capsule, maturing in summer. The herb flowers from April to May in the southern parts of its habitat zones and in June in the northern parts.[6][7]

    Chives are the only species of Allium native to both the Old World and New. Sometimes, the plants found in North America are classified as A. schoenoprasum var. sibiricum, although this is disputed. There have been significant differences among specimens. One example was found in northern Maine growing solitary, instead of in clumps, also exhibiting dingy grey flowers.[8]

    Although chives are repulsive to insects in general, due to their sulfur compounds, their flowers attract bees, and they are at times kept to increase desired insect life.[9]


    :) :) :)
     
    #10597     May 23, 2012
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    This Is Creative

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D2_c81Nnsc0?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :) :) :)
     
    #10598     May 23, 2012
  9. nice Church.

    scary things happen there so no go for me.
     
    #10599     May 23, 2012
  10. My boss said he wanted a word with me in his office earlier

    "Fire away" I said as I walked in

    Turns out I'd took the words out of his mouth.
     
    #10600     May 24, 2012