I just saw a man wearing a top hat while masturbating into a beret. Realising that this weirdo had a fetish, I decided to pop a cap in his ass. Get it.... A cap..... ahahahahahaha...
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and golf ."
LOL, sometimes you're the only reason I log in Sir Nutmeg! I've asked you before, but don't recall the response.... do you write comedy for a living? You cannot just "find" this stuff, I see you responding, and adding to yours and other's jokes. Can we take you Public? Don
Too close to home... I've literally paid, well, too much $135 per month for the last ten years. Didn't go, of course...but I don't want to not go to a crappy gym, I insist on not going to super spa basketball tennis pool joint, LOL True story, LOL Don
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I'm not a Lazy person. I exercise every day, 365 days a year. I do one sit-up each time I wake up, and sometimes I wake up several times in one day.