Whenever I see a woman driving and a man in the passenger seat I always just assume she's taking him to see his gynecologist
Yesterday morning there was a german shepherd taking a crap on my lawn. Today, same thing except he had a dog with him.
Whenever someone says they're going to be blunt and they don't magically transform into something I can smoke, it's not going to turn out good.
Pretty Or Smart <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9QBv2CFTSWU?version=3&feature=player_detailpage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9QBv2CFTSWU?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>
2 QUARTERS or a DOLLAR BILL A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?' The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!' Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?' The boy licked his cone and smiled, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'
The Real Question A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black? Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly and clearly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
Great New Phone <object width="640" height="360"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TYIOIM6hHBk&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TYIOIM6hHBk&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></embed></object>