I remember when our son was born my wife said "make sure the boys name is memorable, unusual and not nutmeg." F63-958 wasn't what she was expecting but at least our liscense plate is now personalised.
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home, Officer." The cop says, "Well, do you have any other kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now..."
I just got robbed at the 7-11. It's getting real bad over here. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. "It was pump #5." I replied.
Some Random Thoughts I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it... I had amnesia once -- or twice -- three? ... Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. How can there be self-help "groups?" Is it me -- or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
I want to be laid face down in my casket when I am buried. If my wife spends all the money from the insurance like I think she will, when I roll over in my grave, at least I'll be comfortable.