This joke is about thirty years old, but put in Liz Claymon, Anna, any of them.......... How do you pick out Dolly Parton's kids at the birthday party? Stretch marks around their mouths.
I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.
This is not a joke. I was at a bar (I was 37) and ended up playing pool with these young navy guys who are dispached on a ship and are on leave. One of them is with a hot looking blond that is 21 years old and she insist that me and her play pool. I guess she ends up liking me because she tells her husband something. Then she gives me her number and says I need a pool partner when my husband has to go back to his ship. I laughed and said is it ok with your husband. She says I just asked him he said it's ok. Not believing her I went over and ask him if it's ok and he says sure you can play pool together and stuff like that. I'm a truck driver at the time so I have to go on the road myself and say farewell to everyone. I come back a few weeks later and call her. She says come on over and bring some drinks. So very excitedly I head over we start talking and drinking Vodka. She tells me how bad her relationship is and she seems really nice and I like totally fall for her right there. Very beautiful blond and reminds me of a girl my age when I was younger. Were drunk by know and she's talking and I just lean over and kiss her I couldn't resist. She says come on lets go in the bed room. So we you know have some fun and in the morning I wake and there's all these weird pets in her room. She has snakes, rats, all kinds of sick stuff and she's into vampirism. I felt like she was the devil herself. I leave and she invites me back again and I'm like talking to her and she's telling me all about all these mental disorders she has. So then the guy calls while I'm over there and they start fighting on the phone. At first she was telling me how bad her husband treated her and now I'm feeling bad for the guy even though she said he punched her one time and they have 1 kid. As good looking as she was I left and never wanted to come back. That's only half the story to. Crazy..
See, first off, it's never a good idea to look down at your pecker, aand say, "waddya think pal? Think it'll be ok?"
Like DeNiro said in "A Bronx Tale" : "Son, sometimes you need to let the big head do the thinking instead of the little head."
We have confirmation that she likes to suck. We have a keeper boys. A woman with mental disorders? I don't believe you.
since we're on pecker jokes: A little boy is being bathed by him Mom. As al l little boys, and teens, and dads are apt to do, he is handlling himself. He looks up at Mom and says.... "Mommy, are these my brains?" "Not yet", she replies.