Jokes 2

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I'm so conservative, when I go to KFC, I only order the right wings.

 

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They laughed when I said I was going to become a comedian. No one is laughing now!

 

I once worked as a comedian at the local Alzheimer's society club, they liked my first joke so much I told it again and again and again. In fact I told it 26 times.

After the show, this old bloke said to me, "I don't know how you remember them all!"

 

I was doing my first gig as a stand up comedian, it was at an old peoples home.

None of them got the jokes, but they still pissed themselves.

 

Don't laugh! Only the "lucky" ones get there. The alternative is early death.

 

Whenever I tell people I want to be a comedian, they always laugh. This comedy shit is easier than I thought

 

Harvard researchers recently proved that birthdays are good for humans: exhaustive analyses of their voluminous statistical results show clearly that the more birthdays people have, the longer they live!

 

According to George Burns, fist you forget names, than you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, and last, but not least, you forget to pull it down...