Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. :D :D :D That is funny..


    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sHzdsFiBbFc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #10191     Feb 4, 2012
  2. Aahahaha! Nutmeg,I will send this to my brother.
     
    #10192     Feb 4, 2012
  3. I got called in for yet another prostate examination by my doctor.

    After chatting to the other patients in the waiting room I learned that men don't normally need them till there at least 40.

    I think he has got some explaining to do.

    I've had six and I'm only 23.
     
    #10193     Feb 4, 2012
  4. Just guessing but I suspect a narcoleptic insomniac probably sleeps with one eye open.
     
    #10194     Feb 5, 2012
  5. I bumped into an old friend yesterday who I haven't seen for years.

    He said, "What you doing these days?"

    I said, "I help hand over clothes to poor people."

    He said, "That's very charitable."

    I said, "Not really, I work the checkout counter at the Salvation Army."
     
    #10195     Feb 5, 2012
  6. JWS11

    JWS11

    American Love Story

    Harlequin Novel, Updated.... 2011 Version:

    He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,"Just relax."

    Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.

    I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up to my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.

    And then, as he cupped my breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.

    Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine onto my quivering buttocks.

    Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . ..

    "Okay, young lady, you can board your flight now."

    :D
     
    #10196     Feb 6, 2012
  7. Harry Potter's Wand

    "Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent."

    "... Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your willies."

    Harry rubbed his willy feverishly until white sparks shot out of the end, which earned him a disapproving look from Fleur.

    "There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's willy and mine sort of... connected."

    Draco's sleek, black willy. Identical to his father's willy as far as Harry could remember...
     
    #10197     Feb 6, 2012
  8. Latest quote in a tin of Altoids.

    "Our Altoids are stronger than the USD"
     
    #10198     Feb 6, 2012
  9. I dunno, should I have used


    "Our Mints are stronger than the USD"

    Either way...

    :D
     
    #10199     Feb 6, 2012
  10. Everyone talks shit about the USD but it's up >15% from where Bush left it after he cut it in half.

    And the snp is double where Bush left it after cutting it by 2/3.
     
    #10200     Feb 6, 2012