I went to see the doctor and said, "I think I've got Alzheimer's." "Yes I know." He replied, "You told me yesterday."
"Ok why are you here?" asked the counsellor. "I hate my wife" I said. "Wow. That's quite a statement. You can't hate her all the time, surely?" "Ok, maybe two thirds of the time I can't stand her." "Right. Well that's progress. So the other third of the time, you like her?" "No, the the other third I'm asleep."
"Davos Wife Suggests Placing Bets On Which Attendee Is Most Likely To Knock Up A Local Now" Nice headline...
Too funny not to share! "Curtis & Leroy saw an ad for a mule in the Starkville Daily in Starkville, MS. and bought it for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said,"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news. The mule died last night." Curtis &Leroy replied,"Well then, just give us our money back." The farmer said,"Oh, sorry, I can't do tha...t. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do..." Leroy said. "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998." The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back!" Curtis and Leroy now work for the government!!!!!!! --- R. Bryant <a href=http://www.trailways.com/team-trailways/motorcoach-listing-companies/companies/silverstate-ca>Orange County Bus</a>
All right I got one for ya. True story. The defense attorney asked for a mistrial because while the jury was deliberating one of the jurors brought in a dictionary. "Watts dis werd?"
God forbid any Et'ers end up doing jury duty and have to deal with the word "loosing". My trade went bad and I was loosing maoney.