Did you see where he got Rosie O'Donnell to cry.??? She started out, "I was so mad at you...." At the end she's crying, begging him to forgive her. I just can't figure out, given that God - given talent, why he ever married Hillary. Think about!!! He made Rosie O'donnell cry and apologize for being mad he got a knobber. Amazing. With that tongue, you could talk Heidi Klum in to leaving Seal.
Ted "the submariner" Kennedy got +8 mill for his autobiog. Some ideas on the title: * The Brother That Wasn't Worth the Cost of a Bullet * Water World * No, I'm a Drunk (Alcoholics Go To Meetings) * Taxing & Spending for Dummies * It Couldn't Be Camelot Without a Lady in the Lake * Brother Can You Spare a Liver? * If Oil Were Gin, I'd Attack Iraq * Dude, Where's My Pants? * A Bridge Too Far * King Leer * Something Wicked This Way Comes * The World According to Grope http://www.imao.us/
I want to play: What William Kennedy Smith learned from me. What Bill Clinton Learned from Me What I Learned from Bill Cllinton (two separate titles here) If Dad could see me now Driving Miss Kopeckne Water Boarding is Torture, And I Know about Water Torture Staying Fit the Ted Kennedy Way Inherit Your Way to Financial Freedom When I was in High School, we went to JFK High. But all we did was drink and womanize. We shoulda called it Ted Kennedy High.
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to > foot. > > The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've > regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't > remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. > You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and > everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to > break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was > chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find > it.' > > > The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got > $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we > have the technology now to build you a new willy that > will work as well as your old one did - better in > fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's > $1000 an inch.' > > > The man perks up at this. > > > 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how > many inches you want. But it's something you'd better > discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch > one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, > she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch > one before, and you decide only to invest in a five > incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's > important that she plays a role in helping you make > the decision.' > > > The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes > back the next day. > > > 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your > wife?' > > > 'I have,' says the man. > > > 'And has she helped you in making the decision?' > > > 'She has,' says the man. > > > 'And what is it?' asks the doctor. > > > > > 'We're getting a new kitchen.'
An Amish farmer was walking through his field, & noticed a man drinking from his pond, with his hand. The Amish man shouted: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it." The man shouted back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English." The Amish man shouted: "Use two hands. You'll get more."
Beating a dead horse ____________________________ Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse." Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment. Change the requirements declaring that, "This horse is not dead." Hire contractors to ride the dead horse. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed. Declaring that, "No horse is too dead to beat." Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses. Revisit the performance requirements for horses. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
This guy is from Sweden is a very deadly boxer. They call him Roki. He comes from a town which means bloody mustache and his father once faught a bear. <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vz_c0r6MAJc&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vz_c0r6MAJc&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>