Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Bob111

    Bob111

    #10071     Jan 11, 2012
  2. Bob111

    Bob111

    #1: We're going to dress up as Wiseguys for Halloween. Flashy suits & cheap jewelry. #2: People will just think you work at Morgan Stanley.

    #1: Anyone who thought Corzine understood risk is an idiot. #2: Remember his car crash in '07. No seat belt. Going 90 MPH. #1: Retarded.


    #1: With their liberal arts degrees, you'd think these protesters could make better signs. #2 (laughs): Hence 'unemployed.'
     
    #10072     Jan 11, 2012
  3. ammo

    ammo

    chucklin
     
    #10073     Jan 11, 2012
  4. J Ski

    J Ski

    The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.



    His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.



    When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.



    The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is."



    The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?



    Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."



    The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."



    The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"



    The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."



    Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind

    the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."



    The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"



    The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
     
    #10074     Jan 12, 2012
  5. fhl

    fhl

    Tim Tebow: now officially the most famous white bronco since OJ's truck
     
    #10075     Jan 12, 2012
  6. fhl

    fhl

    Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything that you tell them scientists have discovered.




    Uh-oh. This is no joke.
     
    #10076     Jan 12, 2012
  7. So a Korean couple walk into the dog pound.

    The Receptionist says "how can i help"?

    Man answers "table for 2 please"
     
    #10077     Jan 13, 2012
  8. [​IMG]
     
    #10078     Jan 13, 2012
  9. Another short lived famous white bronco. He's done for the season.
     
    #10079     Jan 15, 2012
  10. Subject: Texas Police Do Care


    Texas Police Do Care


    I get irritated when people come down on our police officers,
    saying that they don't care about or respect others.
    Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.

    This story involves the police department in the small hill country
    town of Fredericksburg , TX who reported finding a man's body last
    Saturday in the early evening in the Pedernales River near the state highway-87
    bridge. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been
    notified.

    The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption
    while visiting "someone" in Kerrville .
    He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 4 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt,
    a pink G-string, purple lipstick,
    dazzle dust on his eyelids, 1/2 inch false eyelashes and an Obama T-shirt.

    The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any
    unnecessary embarrassment.

    See there, Texas police do care.
     
    #10080     Jan 15, 2012