Jokes 2

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

 

There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

 

Pimp's UP Hoe's DOWN

 

New Year's resolution-

Date more models.

Revised- Date more.

Revised again- Get a date.

Revised one last time- Stop crying while masturbating.

 

I fucking hate work. So when I went to the unemployment office yesterday, I told the women behind the desk that I didn't want to work, I ain't interested in the work, I won't show up on time, I'm rude and I steal stuff..
The woman's typing all this into her computer, looks up and says; "You just got yourself a job at the MTA".

 

Don't have sex with models. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

 

I asked my new blonde Model girlfriend if she was a virgin.

She said no , but that she was willing to learn

 

Had A Good Week Trading

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CxZ2Yf1JdOA?version=3&feature=player_detailpage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CxZ2Yf1JdOA?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

 

There's this weird thing at my work where people are putting names on food in the fridge.

I just ate a tuna sandwich named Kevin

 

Chaz Bono is saving up money for a penis.

Wake up!!!! "Saving money" is for chumps.

If he would remain a girl, he could of had several penis's for free....