Johnny Rock's comeback

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by johnnyrock, Jul 20, 2017.

  1. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    My producer has been in contact with @lawrence-lugar. We have finally negotiated a price point that is doable for our low budget show, on two conditions: (1) the rider - more on that later - and (2) no more pics of Larry Sugar.

    His celebrity look alike business is taking off and I can understand how valuable those photos actually are.

    However, Sugar didn't say anything about posting pics of others in his inner circle.

    This action shot was taken as Larry and his new found friend - an inebriated Giuliani - spot a lactating lady!

    14330055_1132108986837517_1078030870440221840_n.jpg rj1.jpg rj2.jpg rj3.jpg
     
    #701     May 17, 2018
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  2. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    We were unable to meet Larry Sugar's demands this week. In fact we lost an intern, Little Debbie Buenting, over the whole idea. Little Debbie was a communications major at Nazarene Bible College in Colorado Springs.

    To be perfectly honest, she was a terrible communicator, but she had huge boobs! I guess you get what you pay for.

    More on that later. For now let's just say that Sugar's rider includes Monster energy drinks, a butt plug and anal beads. Little Debbie refused the rider.

    Too bad!!

    However, Little Debbie has a history with YWAM and was able to secure an interview with Dr. Rodney Howard-Browne, the Senior Pastor of the River, in Tampa, FL.

    JR: Welcome, Dr. Howard-Browne. Damn, that's a mouthful.

    RHB: That's what my wife says!

    JR: Nice! Always inappropriate. You are a perfect fit for this show. I just hope you can take a joke better than your brother.

    RHB: Bazil? What happened?

    JR: Just a little incident at the dunking booth. Ask Diane. For that matter, ask his wife.

    RHB: Diane had some nice tits!

    JR: No doubt! Rodney, I didn't bring you on the show today to talk about tits but that is my fault for opening the show the way I did. Tell us a little about yourself.

    RHB: I received my Doctorate in 1992 from the School of Bible Theology.

    JR: A diploma mill?

    RHB: Diploma mills get a bad rap. Let's move on.

    JR: Gladly! Is it true you are a missionary to the United States?

    RHB: Yes. Now, Adonica and I are citizens.

    JR: Hmmm. Most missionaries go to shithole countries. Interesting choice! Btw, your wife has some nice tits!

    RHB: They are real too! Not like some of the other Pastors' wives.

    JR: Oh no. Are you talking about Paula White?

    RHB: Of course. But I will say the Doc gave her a nice set of bolt on-s. Best 10 grand Randy ever spent.

    JR: Yeah, I am sure the dude from Journey appreciates them. It looks like they let some of the air out, though. Are they adjustable?

    RHB: (humming, then begins to sing) Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'.

    JR: The reason we invited you on the show today is to give you an opprtunity to promote your book, "The Death of Uncle Sam." Tell us. What is it about?

    RHB: It is the final word on conspiracy theories.

    JR: Which pays more? Being a Black Diamond in a multilevel marketing company or authoring a book on conspiracy theories?

    RHB: Fleecing the flock! Besides, Monavie is bankrupt - it was a good lick. Gotta give me that!

    JR: Damn, I haven't heard that phrase in a while. I hear you and Alex are pretty tight! What's going on there?

    RHB: I always thought fleecing the flock was my passion but once I heard that Hollywood and the Democrats were drinking blood and participating in cannibalism, I had to do something about it!

    JR: What, like report it to the police?

    RHB: Fuck no! Jump on this gravy train before anyone comes to their senses. Besides, the synchronicity with fleecing the flock makes it a perfect side hustle.

    JR: Way better than Uber! Do you have anything else for us today?

    RHB: I just want to say there is a plot to kill the President of the United States.

    JR: Oooh. That reminds me. Donny and Paula have been good friends for a while. Any chance he has seen her naked?

    RHB: That question offends me!

    JR: Well, I apologize. However, if I bought a new car, I would show it off.

    RHB: And?

    JR: Well, just saying! Donny and Paula have a track record.

    trp.jpg

    [CLICK]

    [Dial tone.]

    JR: Sorry folks. That's all the time we have for today.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
    #702     May 18, 2018
  3. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    My final story,

    March 2012:

    It was Spring time in Colorado - a camping state with the majesty of God's greatest creations - and beautiful creatures were ceremoniously strutting, seeking resources and potential mates.

    The old bull elk, the Alpha of his species would often times have a broken halo - you can call it a rack but that would cheapen his accomplishments, his reign as the big swinging dick of his era - the bull's battle scars would signify his trophy status. It would also make him a target.

    Like that old bull elk, I too was after resources, mainly food. My battle scars were earned through a life time of wooing the female of my species - some would call me a player; baby, I was a pimp!

    The bull does not care if you are betrothed to another! If you wish to run with me, run free my goddess. I will protect you, even if it is from your former mate.

    When the bull was younger, his rack would be intact. Repeat that line to yourself. His rack would be intact!

    So it was with me. Like a mallard, I always dressed to bring attention to myself. The female of my species would delight in my majesty. The other bulls would snort, grunt and stomp their feet. Rarely did they charge.

    When two bulls are fighting over females - or more accurately, one bull is fighting over his hurt feelings - they go toe to toe. Close quarters combat. My specialty.

    I was raised by a bull.

    On this particular day I had been homeless for almost eleven months. I had found peace in the writings if Osho. You may know him as a cult leader. To me, he is my Jesus.

    Namaste Motherfuckers.

    Totally spiritual.

    Wonderfully carnal.

    The yin and the yang.

    Osho's writings are full of wisdom. Powerful enough to set one free, provided you are a bull.

    According to Osho, the male of our species has two "acts" in life.

    Up until the age of 42, or thereabouts, testosterone fuels a man's passions. If the man is lucky enough to lead the life of a rock star - fucking, feasting and fighting - this man will settle down.

    He will begin to look inward and live out the rest of his life in relative peace; albeit, coming to terms with himself may be the toughest battle of all.

    For the other type of man, the one who plays by artificial rules, he goes through what we commonly call a mid-life crisis. This man is not a bull. In fact, he was gorged by the system many years ago. He is recognized by his broken spirit. This man will often end up breaking up his family to date a woman 30 years his junior.

    He too will be conflicted. He too will cause harm.

    Thus the journey.

    I know. Trust me, I know. This all sounds like so much bullshit!! Maybe it is.

    For me, it was liberating.

    Maybe Osho was like me, a narcissist of the highest order. But if he was, so was Jesus!!

    I often wonder what Jesus did between the ages of 12 and 30.

    Probably a lot of fucking, feasting and fighting!! Let's not forget that Jesus' first miracle was showing up to the party and bringing the Dom. The best champagne. A trick his mother had seen before.

    But me, I am not Jesus. I am Johnny Rock.

    ***

    I can remember the day I packed my jeep, quit my job and took to the streets in search of peace. Meditation books in hand. A man without a plan. The best decision I have ever made.

    The first six months were cake. I carried my ladder on the roof rack, wore my A Denver roofing shirts and wore my neck wallet with my Colorado ID.

    Yes, I was camping in a camping state but ... and this is a big but ...

    The STATE has never taken kindly to professional campers, whether that be Jesus, the Buddha or even Osho. They were reviled in their times, just as they were celebrated.

    ***

    March 2012:

    About five months previously, I had lost my jeep. With the exception of spending time inside at the request of a couple of fair maidens, I had become a permanent camper sleeping under the stars. I had the freedom and peace I had so often longed for. I remained clean cut, clean shaven and my dress was clean as well. My getup was the white guy super hero costume - a nice pair of shoes and a button down.

    However, by this time my gym membership had run out, along with any savings. I found myself eating at souo kitchens and taking showers at ESM.

    There was Tex. In the back of the line. Tex had a big Flintstone head that looked like he was borderline Cerebal Palsey.

    If you have been in a lot of fights, you know it is almost impossible to knock those fuckers out. The guy with the peanut head, large ego and a football player's build is actually much easier.

    The trick is to scramble your opponents brain by turning the neck with a hook to the chin. Some prefer the jaw but I just like putting then to sleeo for a bit. When they wake up they generally have a more positive attitude.

    Tex was built like a tank. Short, stocky and a Flinstone head. That's two strikes against me!

    On this particular morning, about 50 people are in line for a shower. I was about eight deep.

    The door opens.

    Like cattle, we are all pressing forward through the door.

    I feel someone brush past me. I grab him and secure my place in line.

    "Johnny, don't touch me!!"

    "Don't fucking cut in front of me."

    Those were my only - and last - words.

    He taunts me while we were waiting to shower.

    On the outside of my alice pack, I carried a hatchet with a red piece of nylon covering the blade. I took it everywhere and never surrendered it, even for a moment.

    I shower. Put on a hoody with front pockets that were connected. When I exit the shower, I now have the hatchet, concealed, on my person and I left the nylon cover on as well.

    Tex thinks he will bully me like everyone else. He obviously had not recognized my broken halo. Maybe he was mesmerized by my shoes!!

    "Johnny, when I catch you outside, you are mine."

    I walked to the other side of the room. Dropped my pack off with Matt - the only one I could trust.

    Loudly, for everyone to hear, I say to Matt, "Hold my bag. I am going to fuck Tex up!!"

    The Church ladies call security.

    Tex jumps his seat. I head towards him. A lady stands between us

    Tex bellows, "In the alley!"

    I exit quickly. Reach the alley first. My right arm is raised, hatchet in hand. My left arm is raised as well. I am positioned in such a way that Tex won't see me until he gets past the dumpster.

    When he comes in sight his fists are balled up, hanging low - he doesn't protect his chin; experience has taught him that he can take a punch - and Tex is bouncing ...

    Until ... He sees me ... Hands raised in such a way to be misleading. Exposed vitals. Inviting an attack. A careless charge.

    His eyes are as big as quarters.

    "You got a weapon. Wait here. I will get the chain off my bike."

    Silence on my part. Channeling my inner sociopath.

    Russel steps to me, "Johnny, its not worth it."

    "Russell, I am going to fuck Tex up."

    Tex was the type of dude to steal from other homeless people, curse out elderly homeless women, and Bogart his way through a relatively peaceful community.

    Tex was a bully!

    Johnny Rock is a cock strong bull.

    Tex re-entered the alley with a chain.

    This is not a game of rock, paper, scissors.

    This is not a game of chance.

    I knew. The only way for him to hit me was to rear back with that heavy chain. When he did, I would step in, close the distance and brink that hatchet down - on the beefier dull side - straight into his collar bone.

    We circled. I maintained my range.

    Like most bullies, Tex quit!

    Too bad!!

    Tex would have got what he wanted, a broken collar bone. Someone to put him out if his misery!!

    ***

    @lawrence-lugar

    I expected more from you. I thought you would put up a fight.

    My email is @johnnyrock5932@gmail.com.

    This is my last post. Until I develop a back-tested strategy that I want to journal and have the real funds needed to trade it I will be MIA.

    ***

    However, first and foremost this journal was a testament to @tampa, Bob Lassiter, who taught me a valuable lesson in life while entertaining me, the City of Tampa and the Elite Trader community.

    Please, if you have them, share your own Bob Lassiter story from his Hall of Fame journals and Hall of Fame radio career.

    Keep his memory alive.

    RIP maddog.
     
    #703     May 19, 2018
    vanzandt likes this.
  4. vanzandt

    vanzandt

    G/L Johnny.
    Look forward to your return.
     
    #704     May 21, 2018
    johnnyrock likes this.
  5. Spooz Top 2

    Spooz Top 2


    Larry Sugar.. AKA, "The Lactation Sensation"!
     
    #705     May 22, 2018
    johnnyrock likes this.
  6. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    qkiller4.png
     
    #706     Jan 3, 2019
  7. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    What can you do if you are broke and have legitimate trading ideas?

    Check this out:
    If that doesn't work, you can always hit up Larry Sugar!
     
    #707     Jan 7, 2019
  8. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

  9. zdreg

    zdreg

    johnny rocks!!
     
    #709     Jan 8, 2019
    johnnyrock likes this.
  10. johnnyrock

    johnnyrock

    For future reference:
    • code: 7weekBreakFailures20MAexit
    Screenshot_20190110-082500.png
     
    #710     Jan 10, 2019