Its Here

Stockolio · Dec 25, 2018

Clubber Lang said:
Futures were flat at 8:45.
Another stupid thread
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Got excited too early off the initial volume

tommcginnis · Dec 25, 2018

maximumpossiblesuffering said:
I used to be a member of the Plunge Protection Team. The Plunge Protection Team Facility where I worked for a few months was located inside of an old abandoned military aircraft hanger. This hanger was converted to a multifloor facility with many desks and computer monitors. Although we did not know what financial instrument we were trading, we could get a sense of the urgency of the situation at hand by a signal light. When the signal light was green, we were to hit the buy button at a somewhat random and leisurely pace. When the light turned yellow, we were to hit the buy button consistently at a even pace. When the signal was red, we were to hit the buy button as fast as possible until the light changed back to yellow. I was once called into the head trader’s office for a repremand because my buy click rate during red alerts were not as fast as my coworkers. While in the head trader’s office, I noticed his keypad had three buttons. They were “Buy”, “Federal Reserve”, and “Swissair”. Presumably, if this head trader felt the PPT could not keep up, he was to notify the Fed in order to get qualitative easing. The “Swissair” button was probably for creating an expedited reservation for flight out of the US, should Fed stimulus measures failed. I was eventually fired over my slow click rate, as I was not willing to use the techniques that some of the other traders used to maintain a high and sustained click rate. Namely, self pleasure while simultainiously clicking the buy button.

Disclosure: Any simularity of events, places, and people depicted in this story to actual events, places, and people are merely coincidental.
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Possibly one of the best posts on ET in 2018. Way good --

Chewy · Dec 25, 2018

Clubber Lang said:
Another stupid thread
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Is there any other kind around here~?

I love stupid threads. they make me laugh. hahahaha.

nooby_mcnoob · Dec 25, 2018

Pure fantasy

maxinger · Dec 25, 2018

As long as your frame of mind is not right , it is impossible to earn money.

It doesn't matter whether
it is drought, famine, or flood.
It doesn't matter whether drought, famine or flood has ended.

Because everyday is a good trading day.

Stockolio · Dec 25, 2018

maxinger said:
As long as your frame of mind is not right , it is impossible to earn money.

It doesn't matter whether
it is drought, famine, or flood.
It doesn't matter whether drought, famine or flood has ended.

Because everyday is a good trading day.
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Please elaborate on this

JSOP · Dec 25, 2018

maximumpossiblesuffering said:
I used to be a member of the Plunge Protection Team. The Plunge Protection Team Facility where I worked for a few months was located inside of an old abandoned military aircraft hanger. This hanger was converted to a multifloor facility with many desks and computer monitors. Although we did not know what financial instrument we were trading, we could get a sense of the urgency of the situation at hand by a signal light. When the signal light was green, we were to hit the buy button at a somewhat random and leisurely pace. When the light turned yellow, we were to hit the buy button consistently at a even pace. When the signal was red, we were to hit the buy button as fast as possible until the light changed back to yellow. I was once called into the head trader’s office for a repremand because my buy click rate during red alerts were not as fast as my coworkers. While in the head trader’s office, I noticed his keypad had three buttons. They were “Buy”, “Federal Reserve”, and “Swissair”. Presumably, if this head trader felt the PPT could not keep up, he was to notify the Fed in order to get qualitative easing. The “Swissair” button was probably for creating an expedited reservation for flight out of the US, should Fed stimulus measures failed. I was eventually fired over my slow click rate, as I was not willing to use the techniques that some of the other traders used to maintain a high and sustained click rate. Namely, self pleasure while simultainiously clicking the buy button.

Disclosure: Any simularity of events, places, and people depicted in this story to actual events, places, and people are merely coincidental.
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!! Merry Xmas mate!! LOL

sle · Dec 26, 2018

maximumpossiblesuffering said:
self pleasure
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Pop off to the bathroom, work one out anytime you can. And when you get really good at it, you’ll be fucking stroking it and you’ll be thinking about money.

athlonmank8 · Dec 26, 2018

Stockolio said:
Your tripping... Long paragraph to troll
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I think you're tripping too

tommcginnis · Dec 26, 2018

B.T.B.F.D.!

(("Hello-oooooo!" Single-digit p/es on some of the biggest names out there? Continued U.S. fundamentals' soundness? A decrease of *growth* around the world? And for the first time in a gabillion years, FINALLY prices that reflect long-term average p/es?????? Time to get OFF the sidelines.))