I'll offer up my observation like this. Suppose a one bedroom apartment in the suburbs is about $900 a month. You need a car in the burbs to get to work, maybe $350 a month car payment, another $200 a month for gas, another $300 a month for auto insurance. Your min total is $1750 a month for transportation and a place to put your clothes. In NYC you can probably get a studio apt (no bedroom) for about $2300 a month and then walk to work. Even if you consider a wage premium (not enough to offset the housing expense) for a like job in the burbs vs the city you're going to be eating ramen noodles unless you a have a plan.
$300 a month for car insurance? Is that really how high it is in NYC area? I pay around $800 a year and I'm maxed out on liability coverage etc, and I don't live in the sticks either. Wow.
NYC is expensive. Owning a car in NYC is nuts. However, a job in the 'burbs doesn't pay the same as a job in the city. Never has, never will. So, you can overcome the housing expense if you have a decent job. I knew a guy who lived in Manhattan, was moving to Denver. He said he was finding it would be more expensive to live in Denver. I looked at him like he was nuts, and then he explained about having to get a car. I live in the 'burbs, and have commuted both ways. Commuting by car is way more expensive than mass transit. Insurance goes up as soon as you say you're using it for commuting. Gas and wear and tear do the rest. Anyplace in the NYC metro, tolls will also be an issue.