If you're a guy woud you get married today?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jinxu, Oct 25, 2010.

I'm an older guy and my advice to young men about marriage is:

  1. Yes, getting married is a good thing.

    24 vote(s)
    40.7%
  2. No, getting married is not worth it.

    35 vote(s)
    59.3%
  1. Larson

    Larson Guest


    Give me a break. If the guy is halfway successful in life and knows what he is doing and is not some sort sort of neurotic fool the pool is vast. Only problem is weeding out the dross, and that my friend takes experience.
     
    #31     Oct 25, 2010
  2. Ironically, I started another thread today seeking advice on how to sell a slightly used wedding ring set.

    My wife and I were together for about 11 years, married for 7. For my part, I really liked being married. It felt like I finally belonged, and could officially settle down. The wedding ring and the marriage license didn't really mean all that much to my wife; she always felt like we worked harder at our relationship and took less for granted when we weren't married.

    Now that it is all over, I'm not sure what that marriage license really mean't. It seems as though its main purpose has very little to do with the couple (except for certain legal purposes, taxes and such) and much more to do with creating a certain appearance for the rest of the world. It didn't change things much between my wife and I in a positive way. I had already made it very clear that I wasn't planning on going anywhere. Obviously, having that license in hand did nothing to keep us together except provide a minor inconvenience once the breakup was decided upon.

    Whether or not you decide to get married, my best advice is to do everything you can, whenever you can, to appreciate and show your appreciation for the important people in your life. You just never know what tomorrow will bring.

    As I said, I enjoyed marriage. I'm pretty sure that I won't ever do it again. Who knows, maybe I'll look up this thread in a year and my mind will have totally changed. The person that changes my mind will have to be pretty damned awesome though!
     
    #32     Oct 25, 2010
  3. nitro

    nitro

    Yes.
     
    #33     Oct 25, 2010
  4. jinxu

    jinxu

    I'm surprised with how fast this thread took off and the results of the poll is spitted at 50-50 which mirrors the 50% divorce rate in the USA.

    I suppose I might as well post this:

     
    #34     Oct 25, 2010
  5. jinxu

    jinxu

     
    #35     Oct 25, 2010
  6. jinxu ,


    thank you, that's a fantasic piece and it should really answer the question of the OP.


    In case you are a successful healthy make I would like to add this:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_expensive_divorces

    The guy who is not married can do the very same things the married guy does minus the headaches.

    Why do you need to go to the city council and sign a contract that later might bite you in the ass ? You should not sign anything if you want to love a woman, live with her or have kids with her. If you want to give her 1/2 of what is yours you can always do that, but at least you will not be forced to do it.

    If you are a man who is making good money with marriage you have absolutely nothing to gain. Don't do it.
     
    #36     Oct 25, 2010
  7. Would I get married today?



    Heck no, to short a notice.
    At least plan for a "soon" weekend or something.:D
     
    #37     Oct 26, 2010
  8. This is actually a good social exercise. I would be interested in knowing if those that responded not to get married came from broken home backgrounds (parents divorced), and those that responded yes to marriage, have parents that stayed together.

    I for one believe in the responsibility of providing a strong family backbone for my 3 children; a nuturing home life and moral support. This is a crazy world that seems to go more Sodom and Gomorrah each passing decade. Look at the mockery that Hollywood has created.

    My parents were married for almost 60 yrs, (my father passed away this past May). The example they set and childhood received has given me a solid foundation for life in numerous aspects. Am I alone in this thought? I don't think so, many of my friends that had divorced parents have struggled a little more with various life skills and relationships.

    The generations seem to get a little more "entitled" as time goes on. Very selfish behavior and an "It's all about me" attitude.

    Bottom line is, nobody should get married to someone just to be married. But if you find the right person and plan on a family, it is a moral responsibility, because it is NOT just all about you anymore. Your actions will have large implications in the lives of your children.
     
    #38     Oct 26, 2010
  9. I don't think anyone is doubting the benefits of sharing your life with someone, providing a stable family/home life for your children, etc. That's all lovely and beautiful. For me, the question is why go through the actual process of getting married? Why can't two people spend their lives together, have children, be great parents etc. without actually getting married? What is the difference? Besides legal (taxes) and religious reasons.
     
    #39     Oct 26, 2010
  10. r-in

    r-in

    I was thinking about this topic, instead of trading, so someone owes me a days pay. I listed friends by ones I grew up with, and ones I worked with over the years and still know. I don't have an explantion, but the ones I worked with over 50% have been divorced, and a couple twice. My friends from grade school and high school that I still know there is only 1 divorce. In the work group quite a few screwed around with someone they worked with and that led to divorce. The 2 who are divorced twice both married the woman they screwed around with at work, and that didn't work either.
    From the group growing up only 1 I know for sure had parents who divorced, and he actaully just got married last year at 45 years old. His brother has been married for a long time, as well as his 5 sisters. I know his parents divorce really bothered him when we were kids(I lived next to him from 3 years old on), and I have no doubt that is why he wasn't married earlier. Probably good too. After college he was with the woman he thought would be his wife until one day. He lived in Boston and was riding the train home with chicken soup for his girlfriend who was sick at his place. On the train out of the blue some guy offered him tickets to a Bruins game. Long story made short, he took the tickets, gave the guy the chicken soup, went to the game instead of home. He has a 2nd butthole to this day, but more importantly realized he wasn't as committed to that woman as he had thought and ended it.
     
    #40     Oct 26, 2010