You love the challenge. Change the challenge from always finding new ways to trade to the challenge of making a certain amount of money every week. For the average minded person thats a horrible idea but for you it might actually work. Or open two accounts. One account for making that same figure of money every week and another account for your wacky new trading epiphany trades.
Thank you, everyone, for the encouragement. I think I have found the friendly people I was expecting from this forum. I believe that after losing a few times I have finally learned that I cannot mess with what the system and statistics say. Statistics beats Emotions. Today I finally closed that stupid trade (let the system do it) I had opened based on emotions, and I realized a loss of -40% on my capital. I think I won't mess with the system ever again. But then again, I said that a few times before.
I understand you 100% because I have the same darn personality 'issue'. In my experience, and I have talked about it extensively with people of very different backgrounds and ages, the majority of people don't understand it. To us, if it's not worth a fight, there is no value in it, period. A pretty expensive trait to have for this business and in life in general. Changing the way our brain processes information, when it goes against our very basic natural instinct requires an exceptional amount of work and time.(I guess most probably this 'issue' comes from inherited traits from our ancestors, did yours come from Germany or Southern Russia to live in the US freezing north with no electricity, cars or roads, nothing? People that did this were expecting to have it rough and were ok with it.) One way to solve your problem is to let go of your idea of what 'should' be. Stop 'trying' anything. Give it all up and with time it will all come to you. It is the only way that I know of how to neutralize this great 'perseverance' trait. This trait will run you to the ground if you don't learn to neutralize it, trust me. Read Deepak Chopra's seven laws of spiritual success, some very good ideas there for the developed mind. The same goes for dealing with relationships, the less you try, the less pressure on yourself or anybody else to stay or come together. See law Nr 6 in this reference. With that said, I am still learning something new everyday. Good luck.
Right, I only go after a girl if she doesn't want me. If she wants me I start being suspicious there might be something wrong with her. It reminds of the groucho marx joke, "I wouldn't want to be in a club that accepts people like me as members". It might have something to do with low self-esteem or maybe very high self-esteem (maybe I expect to get someone really really special, and if she's easy she can't be special). I am not sure. But it is true - most people don't seem to have this problem. They take and leave women very fast and easily. Ancestors? Yeah, really close one. My dad. He worked his ass off all his life, and taught me to do the same. If money is easy, or anything is easy, it seems that there's something wrong with it. Like... I gotta trade really hard or else I am not entitled to making money. I feel uncomfortable just letting my system run and make money while I do nothing at all. But I know that is the way to make money, because when I act, overall, I lose. If I let it go, it just makes money, on and on. Also - I like to go against the trend. The system instead goes with the trend even when it seems oversold to me - and it makes money. I just can't seem to learn to do it - if it's gone up for a while, I've got to go against it, even after years of losing because of this. Right, I feel that is the answer. To let go. Let go in trading, and let go in life. Stop trying to work so hard. And everything gets solved. Because when I don't have problems, I feel like I have to create them to work hard, because I am so used to working hard. And if I just sit, I feel like I am wasting time. It's such a contradiction, because I worked hard on the system so I could sit. And now I can't sit, because it feels wrong. I even eat standing up, because I can't let go and I can't relax. Good luck to you, too. I totally agree on everything you said. Knowing that there are people with the same problem makes me feel better. Also, hearing your explanation of the problem, makes me understand it better. There is a problem, we have identified it from different points of view, and then maybe we'll be able to solve it.
Agree. It is refreshing to hear that I am not the only one in the world with this 'work your ass off till you die' because if not you are going to hell bla bla bla My dad also taught me that hard work is the only respectful and honorable way to make a living and in trading this can mean, work hard=put trades on, have positions open all the time. The exercise of patience is obviously a waist of time from this perspective. Thanks for the Livermore quote. It's ironic how much more meaning certain quotes have only after you have a few years of experience in this business. Cheers.
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I'm having exactly the same problems. If I just look at the markets all day waiting for the setup I start feeling so bad for not really doing anything I start taking bad trades and lose money. I have hoped this impatience and urge to do something all the time was going to disappear with age, but I'm not sure.
Here's another Livermore quote: "What beat me was not having brains enough to stick to my own game- that is, to play the market only when I was satisfied that precedents favored my play. There is a time for all things, but I didn't know it. And that is precisely what beats so many men in Wall Street who are very far from being in the main sucker class. There is the plain fool, who does the wrong thing at all times everywhere, but there is the Wall Street fool, who thinks he must trade all the time. No man can always have adequate reasons for buying or selling stocks daily- or sufficient knowledge to make his play an intelligent play." The whole book is here: http://www.nowandfutures.com/large/Reminiscences_of_a_Stock_Operator_Jesse_Livermore.pdf Personally, I think I am unable to find the mental balance needed to trade discretionary and make money consistently. Jesse Livermore wasn't either - he kept on losing everything over and over, just like me. (Sure, he was extremely gifted and between bankruptcies he made millions from nothing). I am too far from being calm and rational to ever be able to reach that emotional balance. That is why since years ago I have been working on developing a fully automated trading system. Now the only problem left is really accepting that I must do nothing at all and let the system work. I am starting to doubt that the real reason I interfere with my system (and losing as a consequence) is to try and make more money. I think boredom, but also guilt could be part of the problem. Maybe I am not ready to see myself become successful, not so easily, not so fast, not so much. So I sabotage myself. Maybe. I also noticed that if I go to sleep at 11 pm, the next day I am very rested, and I feel great. But guess what - I can only do it once a week. Somehow I feel guilty or at least uncomfortable going to bed early and feeling perfectly rested the next day. I had a very strict (problematic) Catholic upbringing. It seems to me that my parents tried to teach that I should feel guilty for being happy (while others aren't). Maybe I am less nervous and more comfortable being a so-so trader, that neither loses nor makes money (first making it with the system, then losing it with my own trades), and who feels he's ABOUT to make it big, but never actually makes it big. Also, I noticed that the more money I make the more I try to spend it, as if an increasing bank account made me uncomfortable. I treat colleagues out to lunch, to expensive restaurants, trying to bring my balance in my savings account back to zero, where it's been for a long time. These are the same colleagues I am telling every day "in a few months I will quit the job, because I'll be rich".
After you blow-up, and you won't be able to pay your bills, and nobody helps you, and you become homeless, you won't have this problem no more
You don't understand that there is no free money in the market. How is risking 10k+ money to make $100+ money not fighting to make money? One day you'll blow up and see the errors of your way. There will be good times and bad times, and if you don't prepare yourself you're gonna regret it. In a few months you'll be poor if you keep trading with nothing in your savings account